2017 Throwback

I was bored, I was buzzed on trees and as much as it needed to be done, I couldn’t bring myself to write the first word on the blank page.

So I decided to go through my document folder and read previous writings. In the process, I stumbled on a piece I wrote to myself. The best way to classify it, is as a letter from one aspect of myself to another. (I write to myself a lot, it’s one of the weird things I do).

Anyways, it turned out to have some valuable stuff, but it wasn’t audience friendly. So after some time spent editing and making it public friendly, I have been able to satisfy the nagging urge to do some writing as well as bring you high quality stuff, from the library of my mind.


You know it, you’ve known these things for forever. Now, I think it’s time you come face to face with your fears and inner truths, those tiny whispers you push away into the recesses of your mind. And while you’re doing that, maybe you could start living a life that’s actually yours.

Now let’s get to it, what is it that you want? What do you want to do? What do you want to get from life? And what are you currently willing to give up so you can do these things?

These questions can be difficult to answer because the things we want, like freedom and wealth sound nice. But the cost for these things are too high for you or so you’ve tricked yourself to believe, because there are other truths.

And you know it.

You know that giving up every day turn up with the gang will do you no permanent harm. You know that there is no stress you can’t adapt to if you let yourself. And you also know that the ability to put in extra effort and do the things you have to is a skill that can be learnt.

Still, you somehow want to be comfortably carried to your dreams. You have no desire. The things you call desire are just the superficial wants that every single human being on this planet possesses. All feeling, no action.

You have no fire, and in the moments where you are able to light a spark, the way you behave and the things you do see to it that the spark remains just that, a spark that never manages to reach activation energy and so no fire.

There’s nothing wrong with this mind you, it just means you’re probably going to end up like the majority of everyone else, subservient to rigid, inflexible people whose only ideas of what it means to be good looking are a low hair-cut, loose fitting dress trousers and an office shirt.

You’ll have to get a low-cost apartment in an area you don’t like and make friends with people who never bother to dream past their next paycheck and worst of all, you’ll probably get used to it and try to make the best of that experience so all in all, you’ll probably live a very comfortable, boring, limited life, cut off from all the really exciting things happening around the world.

Then, there’s the scenario where you decide to actually stick to the plans you come up with, and apply all the knowledge you gain from all the extraordinary people you come across, and go for all the things you want, simply because life is short and precious, you have just one chance to live it. You don’t know when you will die and for Christ’s sake it is your fucking experience, no one else’s.

No one will ever know you as completely as you can know yourself, no one has the right to determine how you should live your life. The best people can do for you is to give genuinely helpful and loving advice and sadly that is hardly ever the case.

OG, I want the best for you, but before you can get it, you need to realize some more truths, yet again.

You need to realize first, that there are as many truths as there are lies, and it doesn’t take much for a truth to become a lie.

You also need to realize that apart from death, imprisonment, and some other things, most of your worst-case scenarios no matter how bleak, are just as the name suggests, scenarios.

They have an end and after that life goes on, and it goes on in its full ramifications, meaning, everything that life contains will still be available to you, things like possibility, love, opportunity, the ability to learn and adapt, new experiences, and so on.

You can always make a comeback, you aren’t your goals neither are you your dreams, always remember that you are the ocean behind the waves and that you are not limited by what you own or possess, but by what you do with them.

You are the originator and founder of the reality you are currently experiencing; you are the source of your wellbeing, emotions will come and go, dreams and aspirations will come and go, but what will stay with you is the memory of what you do with the ones that matter, how you respond to them,

Will you accept them and chase them with vigorous energy and meticulous planning? Or will you say no to the things that make you feel alive so that you could say yes to a life you do not give a shit about?

NOTE: I do not have anything against living a normal life, I do have something against living an unfulfilling life, I have something against not being able to choose for yourself, or being trapped in an existence that you absolutely hate, I’m all for a rich life, a life of choice, a life of abundance, a life where you get to chase dreams rather than run from your fears. A life that you’ll be proud to call yours at the end, a life you accepted and made into a dream.

I like to think and I like to write about the stuff I think about. Ayooluwauthman@gmail.com

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