Bruce Lee: Accept Yourself To Control Yourself
This was supposed to be the 27th entry into the 1001 challenge to write one thousand and one words throughout the day of November. However things got crazy and the month is ended, so this will be the last entry. I’ll be posting an article at least once a week from now on. Peace.
I’m currently reading Bruce Lee’s “Artist of Life.” In the chapter titled “A moment of understanding,” Bruce talks about how he struggled to understand the principle of “non-doing,” as it is associated with Gung Fu. The whole chapter is full of gems, but one sentence in particular grabbed my attention: “In order to control myself, I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.”
This statement goes against everything I’ve been taught about self-control. The reigning stereotype is that exerting self-control involves battling and beating down any urges that run counter to whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. Yet, Bruce Lee, a man renowned in part for his ability to discipline himself, states in that sentence, that acceptance, rather than resistance is the beginning of the path to control.
I can’t say for certain what he meant, but I strongly suspect that Bruce believed understanding yourself is the key to self-control, and this understanding starts with accepting yourself. Note, this acceptance is not a reckless abandon to the inclinations of your personality, rather, it comes from an acknowledgement that the best chance you have at controlling yourself can only come to you if you know the ins and outs of what constitutes “you.”
It’s like the sailor and the sea. The sailor can never hope to defeat the sea, it’s an exercise in futility. What he does instead, is learn to read the motion of waves, the direction of the wind, and weather signs. He doesn’t abandon himself to the sea, instead he learns to feel its rhythm, to anticipate its pulse, and eventually, dance with it. In practice this means accepting the dark, and weird thoughts that occasionally run through your mind without identifying with them. It means acknowledging emotions you’re ashamed of without letting them own you. It means learning to look at yourself, see yourself for what you really are, and then join the dance of your being.
Let’s take another analogy. I read an article by Kapil Gupta, about a Tornado that blew through a town and destroyed homes and lives. An old man from the town rode after the tornado, and on reaching it questioned its acts of destruction. The tornado responded saying: “It is not my wish to destroy anyone’s life. I have no intention of causing havoc. […] I have been created by nature. My nature is simply to twirl and blow. Once the conditions are a certain way, I come into being and I blow and I twirl with all my might. It is not something I can stop or control. I do see the destruction I have caused and I am very saddened by it. Perhaps you can help me. […] I tend to blow in certain regions of the planet where the land is just so, when the atmosphere is just so. As nature has not invested me with the ability to control myself, perhaps you could build your houses and your towns where the land is not so ripe for my development. Perhaps you could stay out of my way.”
We all have traits and temperaments, that cause us to respond to different things, in different ways; that cause us to have different thoughts about different things. Basically, we have all different thought, emotional, and behavioural patterns, and these patterns create different outcomes in different environments. The above analogy tries to teach that self-comes from studying and understanding these patterns; from exploring in detail the geography, and dynamics of our humanity, and preparing habitual responses that ensure they don’t lead to permanent damage.
This process isn’t as tidy or as straightforward as it sounds. It requires consistent and extended periods of observation, of self-study, and of seeking the truths of life and human nature, and though you’ll make progress the process will never end. You’ll continually be a student of yourself, and the world, for the rest of your life. Self-mastery is an ongoing process.
So, though it involves occasions of pure willpower and determination, self-control comes from understanding. From knowing every groove, every detail, every scar that constitutes your being. It’s about knowing the types of environment that motivate you, the types of people that drain you, the types of jobs or tasks that make you come alive, and then using this knowledge to govern and manage yourself. However, this knowledge can only come if you move through life with a detached awareness, and acceptance of the way life unfolds within you (in the form of your emotions, and thoughts), through you (in form of your actions), and around you (in form of your environment).
Like I’ve repeatedly pointed out, it’s not that you should be life’s bitch; it’s about being open to more than the surface opinions your mind suggests, and being receptive to any underlying messages that may come. It’s about seeing life for what it really is, and yourself for what you truly are, so that your understanding will be as accurate as is possible. And as you grow in understanding, willpower and determination will take their rightful place as tools, rather than the masters we portray them to be.
See yourself without filters, discover the things that make you tick, that make you feel, that bore you. Seek to understand why these things are so. Rather than holding on to artificial constructs, try your possible best to let your self image be a reflection of reality; an image that contains the good, the bad, the evil, the pathetic, the potential (both good and bad) and all the other nuances of being human. And when you see this image, accept it. Acceptance is the only way you can learn to yield, and in obeying the laws of your nature, you are counterintuitively obeyed by your nature.
Rule yourself, but rule with wisdom, rule with intelligence, rule with strategy, rule with knowledge, rule with brute force (when it’s required), rule with awareness and most importantly, rule with understanding, understanding born from an acceptance of what is. Peace.
