Random Muse on Consciousness using Eastern Philosophical Frameworks.

I was thinking about some things that came to mind from Kapil Gupta’s writings; about how there’s no self, there’s only processes, for example, there’s no person seeing, there’s only the process of sight, there’s no person hearing, there’s only the process of hearing, and how in one of his tweets, he goes, “there’s no person, only the observer.”

I then thought, about how I can’t specifically say which part of my body is me and which isn’t me, and how I can’t say which part of my mind is me and isn’t me. For example, I need my whole body and the whole universe to have this experience of myself as Ayo, yet this experience of Ayo is a configuration of mental and physical energy created from Ayo’s interpretation of this same experience, and can be altered as Ayo’s configuration is altered. It’s a machine creating itself from both sides of its spectrum/polarity. I am a product of the universe’s process, and yet ‘I’ can’t be found in any single process. ‘I’ is a cluster of things which in themselves are a cluster of things. My sense of being a body, is a process created from processes, which are themselves created from processes, and so, my sense of being a body, is an intrinsic part of being this specific configuration of energy. If I was a crow, my experience of life would be extremely different. (Basically if the universe was a self-aware computer, the sense of being an ego; “the human,” would just be a program the computer was currently running, using multiple levels of code. But that program would also be the computer, because they are two parts of one process, a feedback loop that’s expanding into itself.)

So, I decided that if I can’t be found anywhere specifically, yet depend on everything else in life to be myself in a sense, then maybe I’m intrinsically the substrate from which everything arises, and I’m observing myself from the abyss, from the blackhole, the nothingness* in the universe that gives rise to everything, and is contained in everything. (Maybe, I’m intrinsically the computer, or at least the impulse that powers everything.) And I’m using this program to observe myself and what I can be; to marvel at my glory, and to experience myself, after all, what we know as ourselves, is what is reflected of everything else, for example, we know we have hands and a body because we can see the light reflecting off them, and can feel the impact they make and the pressure they exert on everything else.

What if the human ego is just another lens for the computer to look through? Just a way for what is, (we can’t even say it’s the universe) to experience itself as whole universe? Why? No idea. Maybe to update its database and recreate itself anew, as endless universes; just for the sake of it, just because we’re all at our roots, pure creative impulse taking on different forms of creation?

What if having an ego, and being able to think about meaning, is just another flashy tool or means for whatever I am to do whatever it wants to do? I think one of my big hangups/fears about death is the abandonment of my experience of myself as a human being. What if there are other mediums of experience that have nothing to do with what we currently regard as the human medium? Possibly even transcend this energetic configuration? And I don’t know that because of my current state of being?

*Nothingness here is the formless energy we can’t see or feel, but is the substrate of what we are. Maybe the whole world is created from electromagnetic energy; maybe that’s the substrate of the universe, and the vibration of this energy at different frequencies gives rise to matter and shit.